Landlord Invents New Cage For Tenants 🐔

You're their golden goose, after all

Since early 2020, I have been sounding the alarm on the incoming assault and enslavement of the working class by land-lorders.

Like the Nazis advancing across Europe, I saw wave after wave of money being printed out of thin air by banksters, to be weaponized in bidding up the price of shelter, then hoarding it in order to extract crushing rents from workers in order to stay sheltered. 

In the past four years, the “cost of living crisis” (read: cost of greed crisis) has driven billions into financial hardship and millions into homelessness.

And it’s just getting started.

The vampiric investment world has fully realized that working people are bloodbags to be sucked dry—to mix metaphors, that you are the golden goose and your life’s work are their golden eggs.

So why not just put you in a cage where you belong?

Introducing SomiPods.

It’s a jail cell for renters, re-branded as an Elon Musk-style space “capsule.”

Of course, the photos are always more alluring than the reality of living lonely in an airless, treeless, windowless, fake-light plastic box filled with your possessions and body odors.

Welcome to humanity’s dystopian future.

No wonder teen suicide rates are so high — young people aren’t looking forward to full-time life-long toil just so they can live in a chicken coop.

Can you believe a qualified (and clearly sociopathic) engineer actually invested his/her time in designing a jail cell for renters?

The CEO pains himself to seem like he cares about tenants — blathering on and on about “high quality” “comfort” and “privacy,” but his actual customers are land-lorders, which is why he includes sickening testimonials like this one:

The only true “landlord success story” will be when for-profit landlords cease to exist.

The challenge for SomiPods, of course, is to make it sound like your new jail cell is actually a good thing.

This is pretty easy to do — just compare and contrast your shiny new product against the lowest common denominator:

Wow! 

SomiPods are the savior!

They’re the solution we’ve all been waiting for!

There’s a name for this sort of disgusting manipulative choice architecture:

Forced Choice

Forced choice, otherwise known as manipulation through limited options, goes something like this.

Awesome Option A exists.

Then Awesome Option A is taken off the market and replaced by Shitty Option B and Okay Option C.

People will obviously go with Okay Option C even though it isn’t nearly as good as Awesome Option A used to be.

Awesome Possibility A — easily affordable homeownership for all who want it, and at-cost not-for-profit rentership for those who don’t.

Shitty Reality B —parasites extracting maximal rents

Okay Option C —parasites extracting maximal rents but in futuristic capsules.

This sort of decision framing is obviously immoral, but then again, if you’re extracting rent from workers by hoarding houses and using the not-so-subtle threat of eviction into homelessness, you’re not a moral person.

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But why stop at forced choice architecture if you’re going to jail tenants?

Why not pretend like your new tenant cell is actually a moral movement?

See what they did there?

Society has a problem… housing isn’t affordable.

The solution? 

Make housing more unaffordable!

These people are seriously cracked in the head and soul.

Evil is so pervasive in our money-worshiping society that people don’t even perceive basic rational thinking anymore.

Somi even has a handy calculator to help house-hoarders see how much more rent they can squeeze out of houseless people.

Unsurprisingly, the SomiPod founders are “real life landlords.”

In other words: The company is run by self-centered parasites who are happy to reap where they have not sown and extract wealth where they haven’t created any.

The founder “James” (unsurprisingly, no last name) unsurprisingly reports he nearly doubled his income once he installed four cells.

The company claims land-lorders can increase rent yields by up to 70%…

…meaning they can afford to pay way more to outbid working people for homes.

Think about it, friends: Who can afford to pay more for a house — a single mom working three minimum wage jobs… or a scumbag who can milk six single moms for $50+K in annual rents?

And what do these land-lorders do with all their profits?

They just bid up more houses to turn them into chicken coops!

Increasing rental yields create guaranteed economic disaster for society.

Where do we go from here?

Can you believe the powers that be are okay with humans treating other humans so inhumanely and pretending like this is the best we can do for each other?

I am revolted to live in a world with such wicked people.

Sadly, the vast majority of Americans/Canadians/Brits/etc will soon be colluders, collaborators, and profiteers of companies like Somi.

How? Because most people own banking and real estate stocks and bonds via their pensions, 401(k)s, RRSPs, mutual funds, indexes, and so-called “ethical” SRIs, and these banks and real estate companies exist to maximize rents — meaning they will be adding chicken coops as soon as it makes financial sense to do so. Humans don’t matter — only the profits they create do.

If you don’t like it, you know the right thing to do.

But even if you don’t take action, know this: Either way, all those who profited from this injustice will one day be held to account.